Brucie Bonus - 16.5.- What Ever Happened To Baby Jane?

So April turned out to be my most productive month on the blog yet considering my hiatus. It's amazing what being cooped up in your flat due to a pandemic can do for you. Yes, we still live in crazy Covid-19 times but there's still plenty of movies to be watched.

Celebrating this mini victory, we're hurtling into May with a recent addition to the collection but one that was easily tacked onto the end. A movie that's still in the cellophane wrapper no less. So what better way to ring in a drab Sunday morning than to watch a film where the two stars hated each other.

Today we tackle,

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE? (1962. dir Robert Aldrich)

Man, 'The Great Pottery Throw-Down' was getting intense...

Why I watched it:

For me, this has always been one of those elusive films. It would pop up,  mentioned in many a film magazine or reference book, often referenced in comedy programmes and parodied but never really popped up on TV.

What's sad is that a lot of these classic films barely get a look in now, especially on the warmly remembered matinee slots BBC2 or Channel 4 used to reserve for classic Warner Bros movies. I think TCM has the monopoly on them being owned by the once Turner group. I have no idea if TCM is meant to be Freeview or back to being a Sky exclusive but either way, such gems are unavailable.

I procured this film during one of the Oscar seasons. Sainsbury's have a little spinning rack of budget movies they like to sell and during Oscar season, they would put previous winners or nominees on the rack so for the price of under a tenner, now seemed as good as any to give it a watch.

Considering I'm not overly familiar with either woman's body of work (I know, for shame) and the only film of either I saw was Bette Davis' "The Private Lives Of Elizabeth And Essex". In all, I thought the film was clearly well-acted but being a romantic period drama, this ticked none of my boxes. Coincidentally that was part of an Errol Flynn boxset where I can comfortably say if it isn't a swashbuckler with Basil Rathbone in it, save your time.

The review:

Oyyyy. Well, this gives me time to talk about a certain breed of movie.

Forgive the tangent but I don't like the "Lord Of The Rings" trilogy directed by Peter Jackson. Do I think they're well made? Undeniably. Do I think it's well-acted? For the most part yes, there are some excellent performances. Do I enjoy them? No. I think that personally, they're too long and I don't connect with most of the characters, in particular, the Hobbits.

So why do I bring this up? Because "What Ever Happened To Baby Jane?" falls right into this category of film. Both Bette Davis and Joan Crawford are excellent in their respective roles. Davis, in particular, is fantastic as a sneering one moment, completely glassy-eyed and unhinged character the next. Victor Buono adds comedic touches to what is essentially a really dark film about sibling rivalry and the perils of stardom.

The movie is shot beautifully playing with light and shadows brilliantly portrayed throughout. And yet about an hour in, I realized that I wasn't really enjoying this movie. I could appreciate the movie but I wasn't sucked into it.

If we keep liking these awful Harley Quinn movies, this is what Margot Robbie's going to look like when she's reprising her role 30 years from now...

Now I know I've unabashedly declared my love for junky action films and in terms of content and what they deliver, they're the equivalent of a take-out pizza. But the important thing is, I'm sucked into it, yes the acting might be shit, appalling in places and the plots as thin as a Victoria Beckham catalogue but I'm being entertained. For the duration of the film and this should be the intention of all films as a form of escapism, you've got my undivided attention and I'm in for the ride.

So when my mind starts drifting about stuff like:

'Where do I know Victor Buono from? Oh right, he was King Tut in the Adam West Batman show',

'What the hell was the appeal in the early 20th century about watching little girls sing and tapdance? Thank god, we're not like that anymore, oh no, wait, I forgot about that Honey Boo Boo craze.'

OR MOST IMPORTANTLY:

'This film would've been over if Blanche Hudson just fucking yelled 'HELP!' AT THREE DIFFERENT OCCASIONS!'

See I shouldn't be picking plot holes in movies like this. It's meant to be a suspension of disbelief situation, I know it's stupid when John Mclane saves everyone from Nakatomi Plaza, I know it's dumb that Casey Ryback can dispatch a ship full of terrorists but things are going at 300 m.p.h. that I don't care. If the movie's lingering so much that I can't comprehend why Joan Crawford can't use her voice, you've not succeeded in holding my attention.

And yeah, there's a twist at the end but evidently, I already knew it when I described the film to my buddy Ross.

Adding to the collection?

Nope. This falls firmly into the: 'I'm glad I watched this, now I need never see it again' territory. It's a tick on the 'Have you seen these classic movies?' checklist. Thank you ladies, you tried your hardest and well done on the nominations but "What Ever Happened To Baby Jane?" gets a 5 out of 10.

Oh yeah, despite my bitching it's still better than "Cable Hogue" or "Young Guns".

Until next time, I remain,

Matt Major.