(Spoilers - They aren't)
Thus starts Warren G and Nate Dogg's memorable 1994 G Funk hit 'Regulate', the opening spiel taken from 1988's Young Guns and the unsurprising most recent entry in today's blog. It also happens to be the most noticeable thing actor Casey Siemaszko ever did besides wearing a pair of 3D glasses and being one of Biff Tannen's goons in two of the three 'Back To The Future' films.
I mention this because outside of that, there's not much else notable in the modern-day culture about today's film, the aforementioned:
YOUNG GUNS (1988 dir. Christopher Cain)
Having some fun, Crazy ladies keep them on the run...
Why I bought it/Why I liked it:
As mentioned in our previous Young Guns II review, I'm a big fan of the Western genre and by the mid-'80s to the mid-'90s there was a decent slew of them ranging to incredible to slightly cringe-worthy.
Young Guns was often one of the more modern westerns that would keep getting mentioned in the genre and boasted an impressive 80's cast featuring some Brat Pack favourites including good ol' crazy Charlie Sheen and more reliable hands like Emilio Estevez, Kiefer Sutherland, Terence Stamp and the always awesome Jack Palance.
So when looking to add to my DVD collection at the time and in the mood for some Western action, it made sense for CEX stalwart Young Guns to be added to the collection. It was cheap. I watched, I enjoyed but became much more impressed with the sequel as previously discussed.
Still, it might have earned its place simply because of the fact I enjoyed II so much and felt that not including the first one would do the second one a disservice.
If I think it'll stay in the collection:
As you might be able to tell a little in the intro and subsequent paragraphs, I'm sort of padding this one out as I can remember very little about the original Young Guns since its initial and to this date ONLY viewing of the film.
I don't think things bode well for the first part of our beloved regulators and as a result, bar remembering how good Jack Palance is at playing a bad guy, I think this one is destined for trade city...
Well, I better get to it lest I make any more bad Wham! jokes. It's this or death by matrimony...
Dammit.
The review:
Wow. I sort of knew in the back in my mind that this was going on the trade pile but I don't think I realize how much better the sequel is in comparison.
I knew I was on the back foot when the DVD menu screen is atrocious boasting some of the worst fonts I've seen this side of comic sans. Following an incredibly oversaturated intro which involves all our main characters looking mean and shooting (despite later on learning that some of these characters can't shoot for shit), I'm in for a lacklustre 103 minutes.
The veterans to their job rather well but it soon becomes obvious that Terence Stamp wants out of the movie as quickly as possible as does Charlie Sheen who becomes the first of the 'big six' to fall barely halfway through the movie. Possibly because Oliver Stone was dangling a script just out of shot remains to be confirmed.
Jack Palance does indeed put in a fun evil guy turn as Lawrence Murphy (Watch out Itchy - he's Irish!) putting on a fake brogue and growling his lines. He does over ham his exit in the film, however, selling his death scene from getting SHOT IN THE HEAD, as if he's suffering from heartburn or something...
Terry O'Quinn hasn't quite lost all his hair and puts in a decent performance as Alex McSween and there's a blink and you'll miss it cameo by the Cruiser himself, Tom Cruise. No really, look:
Sadly that's about all the positive things I can say about Young Guns. Each of the young actors seems to have a special skill much like the Gunmen of The Apocalypse episode of Red Dwarf. Casey Siemaszko is good with his fists you see. Lou Diamond Phillips is a great knifeman. Dermot Mulroney has a dirty face and has the ability to be in better films. Charlie Sheen's good at dying early.
One scene features all our leads taking peyote and the subsequent scene feature effects replete with slowed-down speech, it doesn't seem to end.
There's a very awkward romance between Kiefer Sutherland's Doc Spurlock and Alice Carter's Yen Sun which just feels tacked on to provide some sympathy for said character but sadly I didn't really care how many of them got shot in the end; as I checked the time stamp hoping said movie was ending sooner, rather than later.
Oh, and the dramatic final shootout is shot in slow motion. Only one thought filled my mind during this part: 'This is wank...'
Should it stay or should it go?
Much like the time period it represents, it's history. I've kept the good one and managed to knock off one more DVD from the collection ultimately proving this project is becoming a success albeit a small one. As such it gets a 4 out of 10 from me as at least Captain Marvel had Ben Mendelsohn in it.
In hindsight you'd garner more entertainment listening to Warren G and Nate Dogg's - Regulate and Wham!'s - Young Guns (Go For It), both songs clocking in at a scant 7 minutes and 51 seconds combined.
Thus endeth the Y's, next up: a shaky revisitation of a once much-beloved franchise...
Until next time, I remain,
Matt Major
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