CAPTAIN MARVEL (2019 dir. Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck)
Christ, even the cover's boring...
Why I watched it:
As the intro suggested, I'm a big fan of the superhero genre and the MCU in particular. Rarely have they made an out and out bad film and regrettably, this fell in a period where I was hospitalized so it came and went while I was bedridden for over a month. Opting to wait for home release and knowing that my dad would eventually pick it up, he did. I asked to borrow it, he lent it to me and here we are.
Now honestly, I've never been a fan of the character of Captain Marvel, especially the Carol Danvers iteration, so immediately I'm standing on a back foot. But there have been instances where I've been uninterested in a character and then become turned around through the course of the movie, through a mixture of strong storytelling and good performances or simply down to sheer explosive fun (Aquaman, I'm looking at you).
Would this be another case of a pleasant surprise?
The review:
The short answer is no, no it fucking wouldn't.
The reasons then: I don't think in the entire history of superhero films that I have been less invested in a character. Marvel, who so often are great at presenting an origin story decide to forego it essentially to provide us with more action. Perhaps to disguise the fact that Carol Danvers has very little in the way of an origin tale. But where some characters need little introduction and whose origins have been told countless times (Hulk, Spider-Man, Superman, Batman), Carol is a character who NEEDS an origin tale so that the viewer can have some personal attachment.
Instead, we're treated to a patchwork origin tale that tells us very little about Carol Danvers and what kind of person she is because she's suffering from a case of the Bourne Identity. Something's happened, I can't remember it and I can't remember to act human either, ably acted by a constantly moody faced Brie Larson who every time she cracks a wry smile comes across as awkward and unlikeable.
Was I really meant to care about her potential death at the hands of an alien threat if I don't even really know who she is? The problem also lies at Brie Larson who just simply blankly stares through various scenes and through her lack of acting doesn't make me care about her.
I made the same face as I was watching this, a lot...
That's a shame as Captain Marvel boasts an impressive supporting cast involving a typically good Samuel L. Jackson performance and a show-stealing Ben Mendelsohn who is phenomenal in pretty much everything he is in.
What adds to insult is also the casual manner in which they brush over one of the most important events in Marvel history in the death of Captain Marvel (Mar-Vell). Opting to gender change him into Annette Benning and then completely glossing over her death, overshadows the emotional event that was the death of the original Marvel and his passing the mantle on. Here, it's presented as a simple afterthought.
It's clear that this is Marvel's attempt to present a strong female presence in the MCU but while certainly presenting her powers as some of the most powerful in the Marvel universe, this seems to be at the cost of her personality. But there's certainly lashings of painful 'girl power' moments including the use of one of the most toe-curling uses of No Doubt's 'Just A Girl' in cinematic history. Also a song from No Doubt's 'Tragic Kingdom' which contradicts Captain Marvel's attempted 1995 timeline by debuting in 1997...
Adding to the collection?
Fuck off. While nowhere near as painful to watch as Iron Man 2 or Thor: The Dark World, I still took four breaks from watching this, either to pee or eat something just to entertain myself by watching. It's not unwatchable by any stretch but you'd have more fun revisiting any of the other films. A woeful 4.5 out of 10.
Can't wait for the sequel featuring Rainbow Brite Supergirl...
Until next time, I remain,
Matt Major
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