so a little back story to this blog. Essentially its existence is twofold. Firstly, it's an excuse to get me writing in some capacity again and honestly, I thought this format would be quite fun. Secondly and most importantly, it's because as the blog states: I have too many DVDs.
Back up a second, I hear you cry, DVDs? What year do you think it is grandad? Well it's 2019 and sometimes films haven't been released on Blu-Ray yet or sometimes it's just plain cheaper to buy something on DVD. Like a LOT cheaper. The thing is, I always wanted to have a retirement plan which consisted of a comfy chair and an opportunity to watch some of the classics I've accumulated over the years.
But rose-tinted glasses and time can be cruel mistresses and the films that might have blown me away damn near 20 years ago or rolling on the floor may not be the gems I hold in high regard anymore. So it's time to get serious. Revisit every film I own and make a decision. Is it worth keeping or worth trading in for a penny at the local CEX?
Oh and I'm going backwards alphabetically through my collection. It's easier to grab films this way due to my set up and it takes a break from the norm where everyone else might go from numbers or A respectively.
Right, intro's done. Let's get to it. First film being:
ZOOLANDER (2001 Dir. Ben Stiller)
Shortly after my parents divorced in 2000, my dad would make up for lost time by taking me to the cinema a lot. It got to a point where we'd end up watching any new release that would come out that week. As a result, I got to watch a lot of good stuff like Gladiator and Batman Begins but a lot of awful stuff too like The Sum Of All Fears and Collateral Damage. No really, I was like one of the 28 people who probably saw Collateral Damage in the cinema. It haunts me to this day...
The 'Frat Pack' were becoming reliable hands, gaining momentum with each movie and Stiller had started making a name for himself after a bunch of stop/start attempts and mostly being known for playing 'Angry guy' in stuff like Mystery Men and Friends. I mostly bought it because as a 16-year-old, it made me laugh a whole bunch in the cinema and a few years later, working for CEX, it dropped to the paltry sum of £1.50. With my discount, it took a tasty 22p off and in my collection, it would stay.
If I think it'll stay in the collection:
This is probably the best example of revisiting a film and seeing if it holds up today. My estimate is that time won't be kind to Derek Zoolander and chums and it'll feel all early millenium. At a scant 85 minutes, it's not likely to outlive its welcome and might rule in its favour. I'm hoping to get a few laughs from it but knowing all the big gags, I'm not sure if there's much more left the film has in the tank.
The review:
What makes me laugh is that apparently, VH1 is a big thing in the states where over here in the UK, for years it was the channel that played retro music and gave Paul King and Tania Bryer something to do in the early '90s. Apparently, it was responsible for giving us the 'gift' of Derek Zoolander at their fashion awards in a series of short skits. So in true Saturday Night Live spinoff fashion, here's a film with that character.
Now I checked everywhere for a Lorne Michaels credit because it just has that presence like one of the SNL films. His name is nowhere to be seen but this FEELS very much like an SNL spinoff project. Maybe it's the fact that half the cast is part of its alumni but it has that mid 90's to early 2000's aura of one of those comedies.
Part of the fun of Zoolander is spotting the random cameos, Jennifer Coolidge and Vince Vaughn earn easy paydays for not uttering a single word for their roles. You can laugh along and remember when names such as Victoria Beckham, Christian Slater, Cuba Gooding Jr and Billy Zane were still NAMES back in 2001. You can awww as sweet little Natalie Portman is still young (do not insert inappropriate Moby joke here....) and hadn't made atrocities with Hayden Christensen or Ashton Kutcher - History's Greatest Monster yet.
The film, however, is a one-note joke, it's essentially Ben Stiller making a face for 85 minutes, it is this face:
Taking shots at the fashion industry is pretty much like shooting fish in a barrel. We know they're mainly mimbo's and bimbo's and the one's who aren't, attempt to push their latest charity venture down our throats and claim to be authorities on the subject because they've been to Africa a couple of times.
There are high points in the film. Milla Jovovich is shockingly good AND expressive throughout the film, something she so rarely does when given her own starring vehicle. No really, look!
Jerry Stiller plays classic Jerry Stiller and shows what an old pro he is by making the most out of his role and there's a funny Garry Shandling cameo, may he rest in peace.
By the time a mobile phone gag comes though (they WERE getting smaller, that's very funny...) something hit me that I hadn't noticed before. The plot, as thin as it is, is essentially The Naked Gun's brainwashing theme all over again. The Naked Gun has more classic gags in it throughout though where I sadly only laughed out loud once upon this repeated viewing...
Should it stay or should it go?
Zoolander is going on the trade pile. It's not an awful waste of 85 minutes but 18 years haven't been kind to it as the attempt at a sequel and cartoon series have proven. It gets a mediocre 5.5 out of 10.
If you're interested, you can find it for 50p or less now in your local charity shop or CEX. You can also learn how to make your own Orange Mocha Frappucino here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exe_I-tnxpU
Until next time, I remain,
Matt Major.
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